literature

Part 18 Reunions pt1 - proof pass1

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I've just meet Equaro's mate Kenco who's a purple dragoness and extremely beautiful with her all radiant scales all a glow. That is one very lucky male black dragon and he knows it. His expressions form a noticeable sense of longing and are priceless to watch. As his tongue continued to flick around taking in her scent I could not help but mimic the same movement. It was like resisting yarning when someone in front is. An extremely inviting scene went from my forked to tong to my brain, my eyes went wide and drooled a little myself much to the displeased wall of the black scales next to me.

"Don't look at her like that! She's my mate!"
A strong sense of possessiveness came into my mind from the black dragon's mental link. The tip of a black tail pressed against my lower jaw and gradually got more forceful pressing it shut.

"Sorry I could not help it, you're very lucky. I've already got someone anyway!"
After that mental apology a small snicker came from the black snout.

To distract myself I looked at the room that was very well decorated with elaborate carving of flames and a painted ceiling that portrayed some sort of battle. Whoever did this surely was an artist because the scene had an effect on me even though I didn't know the history behind it. It was of a great fight between dragon and humans with a great loss of life. In the center was a large black and gold creature that stopped the fighting between the different races. Thunder came from its back and its eyes burned like fire itself stopping the conflicts in their tracks.

As I turned to look back at Equaro he was noticeable more excited than before and was clearly a male dragon. He quickly sprinted to the dragoness and they both rubbed their long elongated snouts together. This sign of affection grew into intense licking that made their face scales reflect the light even more brilliantly. This was an awkward situation for me as I felt this should be private. It only lasted about a minute at most and ended before I got too embarrassed. Then they held each other's tails to show each other they were there for each other once more.

"Wait a minute!" I thought out loud and as I'd just realized something.
"If Kenco's the Empress does that not make you Emperor?" I asked the black dragon at a suitable moment and both released tails and Equaro went decent once more.
To my surprise it was Kenco who answered. "That is a good assumption…I'll tell you that he's not royally by blood as I am. His element is shadow which allows him to create portals and transport over vast distances." My father who sadly passed away a few days ago was very wary of me giving my heart to a shadow dragon."

"Sorry to hear about your farther but what's wrong with shadow dragons?" I asked interested.

"Well we can be corrupted by the darkness inside us and are not evil by nature. However the powers we possess are tempting and can make us hunger for supremacy." The black dragon answered.

"I love Equaro will all my heart because he's not your typical shadow dragon. He's my shadow dragon because he's sweet, thoughtful and has the whole colony in mind. He would protect us all with his life and not to mention his heart beats the same as mine because we have the same values." Kenco stated then had a quick full on kiss with him after that.

"This is why I went on a mission, to find a way for dragon kind to survive beyond our time and I believe you could be the answer Ayos." Equaro continued.

"Oh but you left something behind… Me!" Kenco said playfully.

"I did miss you Equaro and used one of your experiments which disguised me as a human woman and transported me to the land run by them. I learned that humans break easily as they just fall apart in your claws. There's no point wasting a good meal of my accidental kills. Male humans seem to flock toward me for some reason."

"That's because you're beautiful whatever form you are in." Equaro taunted.

"You appear to have put on a few pounds though." She said as her smooth talons stroked the sizable bump protruding from his red chest scales.

She laughed then slit eyes rolled with in a black scaled head.
"Wait! There's something else!" the black dragon stated then burped and regurgitates the human from his storage stomach.

Colonel J Sonders was spat out on the white marble floor and was soaked in thick gooey digestive juices and appeared mostly unharmed if a little dazed.

"Oh you don't change. You got a pet and you are going to beg me to let you keep it."
The purple dragoness jokes.

"I just want to check on my things" he said to his mate.

She similes and removed a bear skin type rug from over a trap door. Equaro lifted the metal ring with a talon and we walked inside the narrow passage single file. A quick flame from his maw set alight to the oil in a recess that went all the way around the room. Light filled the place and lots of glass bottles and apparatus where on various wood tables.

"Where did all these come from?" I asked surprised that something could resemble a science lab.

"I made them myself. You put sand in the stone molds then breathe blazing hot fire on them and you eventually end up with glass bottles and other things."

A few of the containers had a black liquid within them.
"What's in these?" I asked inquisitively.
"There are mixtures of various plants for changing appearance and pure shadow energy.
I have to drain any unnecessary power off me every so often otherwise I'd have too much energy and won't know what to do with myself."

"Now to hide the human!" he said and went up the starters and dragged the colonel in by his clothes with his mouth.

Everything appeared to be in order and Kenco wanted to show us something else.
We closed the lab entrance and covered it over again.

This was just in time as the doors burst open with explosive force as the red dragon general barges in the room with guards either side of him.
"What is the meaning of this?" Kenco asked shocked and angry form the interruption.

The red dragon begins to speak
"I Scorch general of your army believes you to be in danger, my lady."
"Everything is fine thank you I'm having a private conversation to my mate and his friend."

"Sorry it's not as simple as that, they are the problem."

"Explain this outrage and fast." Equaro said loudly with Kenco in full agreement.
  
There was commotion as the black dragom was having an argument with a red scaled flight leader. Everyone stopped to look all eyes fixed on them as this could turn nasty very quickly.

"Come on tell us about Tom Darkwater the Human Equaro.
You have been with humans far too long! Can you be trusted?"
…and what of this strange yellow dragon...sorry gold dragon you brought with you?"

"My name is Ayos." I said attempted to introduce my self

"No one steals my mate to be from me Ayos and I hear you don't know you element.
Am I right?"

All eyes turned to me and I felt the atmosphere change then.
"He's not one of us is he?" said green scaled male guard.
"Look at his paws...four talons in place of three and a due claw" said a dark blue female.

"I challenge you to be tested by the cave of doom" the red dragon snarled in my face his breath smelled revolting.    
The black dragon tries to protect the golden one and is deflected.
"You stay out of this, actually to can be tested too" the Scorch shouts to Equaro with a cruel smirk on his face.
"If you fail you will have to deal with me as I'll see you are both cast out for the traitors you are."

We are escorted outside the plaice by the guards and its now night times. Kenco follows behind with a worried look on her face, she knows it's the law that dragons need testing if there loyally is in question, even if it's the one she loves. Teary eyed she raws into the night and all dragons around stopped what they here doing a flocked into the square like bees to a sugar bowl to help decide Equaro's and Ayos's fate.
Update - 02/01/2012

I have managed to read through this again and attempt to do some proof reading. Tonight I have started writing again. I've been putting this off for long enough and it's the only time to myself that I get where I can write what I want to without deadlines or worrying if it's right or not. Its something to give me a distraction. One can't think of work all the time like I do. There is only so much a person can do.

Hope to get something up and hit the road of recovery.


----- Old
I've been unwell writing this so if there are mistakes you know why. Will fix and complete this once I feel better and college/uni work stacken off.

Just want to show people I have not given up.
© 2011 - 2024 matt-bulls-stories
Comments6
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Netarliargus's avatar
Alright, I went over it and I have some pointers for you, mainly when it comes to writing dialog. That said, the characters here, and more notably, their relationship with eachother are your stronger points. I'd give that some more focus.

Writing dialog — realistic dialog, anyway — does not come easily to everyone. Done well, dialog advances the story and fleshes out the characters while providing a break from straight exposition.


It should not be obvious to the reader that they're being fed important facts. Let the story unfold naturally. You don't have to tell the reader everything up front, and you can trust him or her to remember details from earlier in the story. There is a lot detailed descriptions of the dragons and their abilities here, that's nice but keep in mind that you'll need to *do* something with them later on.


Break Up Dialog with Action.
Remind your reader that your characters are physical human(..well, sorta) beings by grounding their dialog in the physical world. Physical details also help break up the words on the page: long periods of dialogue are easier for the reader's eye when broken up by description. (And vice versa, for that matter.) Like the exchange with General Scorch. "Kenco asked shocked and angry form the interruption" You literally tell us what she feels, showing in more powerful then telling. Think of a few things you can show that she is angry instead of just saying it. (You raise your voice, you tense up, narrow your eyes..and so on.)

Don't Overdo Dialog Tags.
Veering too much beyond "he said/she said" only draws attention to the tags — and you want the reader's attention centered on your brilliant dialog, not your ability to think of synonyms for "said." You can cut down a bit on the taunting, yelling, joking etc. It should be clear from the dialog in what manner they're saying it.

Hope that helped a bit, if you have questions or something isn't clear, just poke me. :)